IS SOMEONE REALLY THERE ?

self harm, depression
the greatest lesson
life has taught me
in my little years here
on this land
is that sharing your deepest parts
with some
will only break you

because they all say
they’re here
but is it true?

is someone really there
when my thoughts
keep me awake at night
and agonise me
torture me
so much that i rip off my own hair?

is someone really there
when it’s three am
and i’m crying
my knees on the concrete
and blood dripping from my arms?

is someone really there
when the pain
hits me
and destroys me
on a warm sunday afternoon?

is someone really there
when
i simply cannot
do this anymore
when the numbness
shrieks into my ears
or when it gets difficult to breathe?

i have been so naive
in believing
that in my hour of helplessness
they will be here

when all i find then
are painful, empty silences.